Kaleidoscope
by Misha
Summary: AU. She had made a new life for herself, but a chance run in with a man from her past, forced her to come home and face all that she had left behind...
1. Prologue: A Face From the Past

Kaleidoscope  
By Misha

Disclaimer- I do not own any of the characters of General Hospital. They belong to the creators of General Hospital, Wendy Riche, Bob Guza, ABC Daytime, and probably a lot of other people with more money than me. I'm not making any money off this story so please don't sue me.

Author's Notes- I know I have too many unfinished stories, but I couldn't resist starting a new one. It's a Brenda-centric fic. It's set before Brenda's return from the dead in the summer of 2002, also Jason hasn't returned to Port Charles yet, either, okay? This is going to be a Brenda/Alcazar (blame Stratusfied247 and her wonderful fics), with some Sonny/Brenda and Jax/Brenda, as well as Sonny/Carly and Jax/Skye. That's all for now, enjoy!

Summery- She had made a new life for herself, but a chance run in with a man from her past, forced her to come home and face all that she had left behind...

Rating- PG-13

* * *

Prologue- A Face From the Past

_Rome, August 2002_

The petite dark-haired woman raised herself off the couch she had been relaxing on and got to her feet. She crossed the elegant hotel sitting room and came up behind the handsome man sitting at the desk, looking over some papers.

She wrapped her arms around him from behind. "I'm going out." She murmured in his ear. "I need some air."

He looked up from his papers for a moment and nodded, he caught her hand and brought it to lips and then released it.

She moved away from him and headed towards the door. The man motion discreetly to another man, standing just inside the door and that man followed the woman out of the hotel suite and down the corridor of the hotel into the elevator, then from there to the lobby and finally to the streets of Rome.

The woman walked, seemingly unaware of the man's prescience, but of course she knew he was there. She never went anywhere alone, there were always guards. But after four years, she was used to it.

And, to tell the truth, it had been much longer than four years. There had been guards in that other life too, the one she tried not to think about, though she had never been supposed to know about them. A frown flittered across her undeniably beautiful features as she thought of that other life, the one she had walked away from, then she banished the thoughts. There was no place for them.

She walked with ease and walked aimlessly, having no particular destination. She looked in shop windows and stepped into a few shops, but she saw nothing she wanted to buy, at least not today.

She placed her hand on her stomach and smiled ruefully, soon she would be needing lots of new clothes, but she still had a few weeks yet.

Her smile turned dreamy as she thought of her coming baby and she couldn't resist ducking into a shop filled with baby things. It was with soft eyes and a contented smile that she browsed and even gave into temptation and bought a few pieces of tiny clothing. It was probably too soon, but she couldn't resist, she was so exited about the baby, so eager for it's arrival.

After, she exited the shop, package in hand, she headed towards a cafe to stop for a bite to eat. She claimed a table by herself, her guard seated a few tables away, and ordered a light lunch.

Then, she pulled out a magazine to read while she waited. She put the magazine down when her food came and glanced around the cafe. Then she froze, shock etching over her beautiful features, as her eyes met a pair of pale blue ones.

She saw identical shock written over an all-too-familar face. Jason Morgan's face.

* * *


	2. Chapter 1: Unexpected Reunion

Kaleidoscope  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Prologue.  
_  
Part One- Unexpected Reunion

Jason couldn't believe his eyes, he must be seeing things. That couldn't be Brenda sitting a few tables away, she was dead. Yet, somehow it was her, he was certain of it.

There was no one else like Brenda in the world, he was sure of that, and this woman could be her twin. Besides, if nothing else, the shock and recognition on her face, confirmed her identity.

As he watched, Brenda, if it was her, got up quickly, leaving a few bills on the table before she hurried out of the restaurant. A man got up from another table and followed her out.

Jason's eyes narrowed, wondering if she was in some kind of danger. He got to his feet and quickly headed in the same direction as Brenda, figuring he owed it to Sonny to make sure she was okay, besides he wanted answers from her, anyway.

Once he was outside, he quickly caught up to her. He grabbed her arm. She whirled around and he knew for sure that it was her.

"Jason." She breathed, not putting up any ploy of not recognising him.

Before he could say anything, the man from the cafe suddenly came over to them and looked menacingly at him. "Is this man bothering you, Mrs. Alcazar?"

_Mrs. Alcazar? _Jason wondered. Was Brenda married, or was it some sort of fake identify?

"No." Brenda said quietly. "He's a friend."

The man, Jason figured he must be a guard, looked uncomfortable. "Does the boss know about this?"

"No, but he will." Brenda assured the guard. She looked at Jason. "I guess it would be wistful thinking to hope you'd forget you ever saw me without an explanation, wouldn't it?"

"Yes." Jason answered flatly.

Brenda nodded. "Fine, then come with me."

Jason nodded and silently followed Brenda as she walked quickly towards some mysterious destination, the guard trailing behind her.

* * *

  
Brenda and Jason were both silent on the way back to the hotel. Brenda knew the silence wouldn't last, that Jason must have a million questions for her. She wondered at the fate that made her run into someone from the life she had left behind four years earlier.

As soon as Brenda entered the hotel room, Luis, her husband, looked up from his paperwork. "Back so soon, love?" He enquired lightly, then froze when he saw Jason behind her. "Who's this?"

Brenda sighed and then forced a smile. "Luis, I'd like you to meet an old friend of mine, Jason Morgan." She turned to Jason. "Jason, I'd like you to meet my husband, Luis Alcazar."

"Husband?" Jason asked in disbelief.

"Yes, husband." Luis answered for her. "Do you have a problem with that Mr. Morgan?"

Jason didn't answer. Brenda could feel the hostility in the air, after only a few minutes. She had to do something.

She crossed the room and wrapped her arms around Luis. "Luis, Jason is a friend of mine from Port Charles."

"I know who he is." Luis retorted. "He works with Corinthos."

"You know about Sonny?" Jason asked.

"Luis knows all about my past, Jason." Brenda answered for her husband.

"Who is he, Brenda?" Jason asked her. "How did you end up with him? And why aren't you dead?"

Brenda smiled slightly, same old Jason, no beating around the bush for him. "All you need to know about Luis is that he is a very powerful man." Brenda answered lightly. "But your other questions, do deserve answers, that's why I invited you here."

She motioned for Jason to sit in one of the chairs in the room as she sat on the couch, pulling Luis down beside her.

"Answers would be nice." Jason agreed.

"Luis saved my life four years ago." Brenda told him. "He pulled me out fo the water and nursed me back to health. It took several weeks, since I had been very close to death when he found me. By the time I felt better, everyone already thought I was dead. Still, Luis offered me a choice, he could deliver me back to my old life or I could stay with him and create a new life."

The temptation to just walk away from everyone had been great and in the end she had given in. Though, it had been more complicated than that.

"Just like that?" Jason asked disbelievingly. "You walked away from your life just like that?"

"It wasn't that simple." Brenda told him. "First, over two months had passed by the time I was ready to consider going back and people thought I was dead, secondly there was the matter of whether or not I was carrying the disease my mother died from."

"Do you?" Jason asked her quietly.

"No." Brenda answered. "But I didn't know that right away, I was afraid to be tested."

Brenda saw that Jason wasn't satisfied with her answers and knew that there were plenty more questions to come. She turned to Luis. "Darling, I need a few minutes alone with Jason."

Luis looked like he wanted to protest, but Brenda sent him a pleading look and he sighed as he rose. "Ten minutes." He warned, kissing Brenda lightly and nodding to Jason before he strode out of the hotel suite.

"I figured this was better done without Luis." Brenda said lightly. "Since I know where this conversation is going to lead and Luis tends to get a little testy when it comes to the life I had before him."

Jason raised an eyebrow.

"Luis was insecure about my feelings for sometime." Brenda explained. "I think even now, a part of him is afraid I'll leave him to go back to what I left behind."

"Yet, you chose him." Jason commented lightly. Brenda sighed, deciding to tell Jason the truth. It was easier now that Luis wasn't in the room.

"Yes, but at first it wasn't much of a choice." Brenda admitted. "Jason, you see, I thought I was dying. The first test was positive."

* * *


	3. Chapter 2: Explanations

Kaleidoscope  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Prologue.  
_  
Part Two- Explanations  
  
Jason was confused. Brenda had told him that she was healthy and now she was saying that the test had been positive?

She must have sensed his confusion, because she clarified. "When I had recovered from the accident and was ready to take the test, it was positive." Brenda commented. "I remember being so angry, so scared. I knew I couldn't go back to my old life and there was Luis, offering to take care of me for the rest of my life."

Jason was silent, waiting for her to continue.

"I agreed." Brenda commented. "And Luis did as he promised and the next two years passed comfortably. I grew to enjoy my life with Luis and I grew to love him very much. After that time, my health was still perfect, I was showing no signs of illness, and Luis suggested that I be tested again."

Brenda paused for a second, obviously considering something. "The test was negative." She said finally. "Suddenly, my future was mine again. I thought, for a moment, about going home, but only briefly. My life was with Luis by this time--even if he had tricked me into staying."

"He lied to you." Jason realized.

"Yes." Brenda told him. "He admitted it when I confronted him, he was so desperate to keep me that he used any trick he could. When he told me the truth, he also told me he'd let me go if that was what I wanted, it wasn't."

"You're happy?" Jason asked. He had never really liked Brenda, but she had meant a lot to people who meant a lot to him, part of the reason he was still angry that she had pretended to be dead all these years. She had caused a lot of people a lot of pain.

"Yes." She answered simply. "Luis spoils me, gives me whatever I want and loves me in a way no one else has. My life as his wife is a good one."

"Do you ever think about the people who have spent four years mourning you?" Jason asked her quietly.

"Of course." Brenda told him angrily. "I'm not a monster. I think of them every day and I hate the fact that I caused them pain."

Jason didn't know whether he believed her or not. "So why not contact someone, let them know you're alive?"

"Because I thought it was easier this way." She said quietly. "I really believed that it was easier for me to stay dead, then to come back and not be the woman everyone wants me to be."

* * *

  
Luis took a brisk walk, unhappy about having to leave Brenda alone with Morgan, but understanding why she had made him leave. She obviously felt obligated to let him in on the truth of the last four years and wanted to do it without him.

Luis took a deep breath. He wasn't afraid of losing Brenda, not anymore, he knew that she loved him, that she had actively chosen her life with him over the one she had left behind.

Still, he was not comfortable with the idea of that life and the fact that someone from it had come back into Brenda's life... Well, it did not please him at all.

She was his. His wife, his life. As far as he was concerned, whatever had been before did not exist. He preferred to forget that she'd ever had another life, just like he preferred to pretend that his life had begun the moment she had come into it.

After all, in many ways it had. What he'd had before her, it hadn't really been living, just existing. No, he had really begun to live the moment he had met Brenda and his life just got better every day, she filled him with a joy that he had never thought possible.

And he was terrified of losing her. He knew that his fear was irrational. Brenda had chosen to stay with him, out of her own free will, even after he learnt of his deception.

She was his wife, she was carrying his child, yet... He still feared that if she went back to Port Charles and was reminded of the life she'd had there, that she'd want her old life back and he'd lose her.

Luis knew that he wouldn't be able to bear that. He could not, would not, lose Brenda.

* * *

  
Brenda watched Jason, waiting for his reaction. Since it was Jason, there was none. Only a slight rising of the eyebrows.

"Jason, I'm not the person I was the day that car went over the cliff." She told him. "And I don't think the people I left are the same either, are they?"

"No." Jason said after a moment. "But they still care bout you, still deserve to know that you're alive."

"Then tell them." Brenda said flatly, knowing that it was an argument that she wasn't going to win. "It won't change anything. My life is here now."

"You don't miss the people you left behind?" Jason challenged.

"Of course I do." Brenda told him softly, her voice filled with longing.

There were nights when she couldn't sleep because her dreams were plagued by memories of her old life and the people who had shared it. But she'd made her choice and she couldn't go back.

"Jason, the Brenda Barrett you knew died the night that car went over the cliff." She told him softly. "That woman, the one who read fairy tales to your son and almost married your best friend, she doesn't exist anymore."

She was quiet. "You of all people should know about having a past that's not yours."

Jason was silent for a long moment. "I do." He agreed. "But, I still faced mine, I've come to terms with it and you should too. Brenda, I can't force you to come back to Port Charles, but don't you owe it to everyone who's mourned you to know that you're alive? And if you really are a new person, don't you owe it to yourself to say goodbye to who you were?"

* * *


	4. Chapter 3: A Date with the Past

Kaleidoscope  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Prologue.  
_  
Part Three- A Date With the Past

"You want to _what_?" Luis asked in disbelief, staring at his wife.

"I want to go home." Brenda said calmly. "To say good-bye."

"To people who've thought you were dead these past four years?" Luis asked dryly, trying not to show his panic.

It seemed to him that the nightmare that had plagued him for the last four years was at last coming true, he was about to lose Brenda to her past...

"To me." Brenda said softly. "To the Brenda Barrett who was. I need to say good-bye to the woman I was and the life I had and let those that love me, who've spent four years mourning me know that I'm alive and happy. That way they'll have peace and I'll have closure and we can have a life together without me ever having reason to look back."

Luis didn't know what to say. He wanted to believe his wife, that was it, and that she was happy with the life they had together, but what if going home changed her mind? Made her want to be that other Brenda.

"Luis." She said softly, obviously reading his mind. "Going back isn't going to change anything. I love you, I'm your wife, I'm having your child. That's not going to change, darling."

Luis sighed, knowing that he couldn't deny her anything. Not even this. "Is it really important to you?" He asked.

Brenda nodded. "Yes, it is. I didn't think it was, but seeing Jason... I need to say good-bye, to really let go and I need to do it now, before the baby comes. I don't want anything tainting our life, our happiness. Can you understand that?"

"No." Luis said flatly, then sighed. "But you know I'd never deny you anything."

Brenda grinned. "Yes, I know. Its one of my favourite things about you."

"If Corinthos or Jacks touches you, I'll kill them." Luis warned, completely serious. He did not share well, did not relinquish what was his and Brenda was his.

"They won't." Brenda assured him, stroking his face. "Even if they do... I don't want them, I want you, Luis. For now and forever. This... This is just my good-bye to who I was before I concentrate on my life. Our life together."

* * *

  
"I'll go back." Brenda told Jason when he came back the next day. "Just long enough to say good-bye."

Jason nodded. "Good."

He was quiet for a moment. "You made the right choice Brenda, you owe it to everyone, but most of all you owe it to yourself."

Brenda knew that he was right. Knew that she had to look into the eyes of the men she'd once loved with all her heart and truly let them go.

"Sonny, he's happy?" Brenda asked quietly. She couldn't ask Jason about Jax, she doubted they got along any better now than they had before, but Sonny was fair game.

Jason nodded. "He is. He and Carly... For some strange reason they work."

Brenda made a face at the mention of the other woman. She'd never been a Carly fan and didn't see that changing. However, she wasn't the one that had married her.

"I'm glad." She said softly. "All I ever wanted was for him to be happy."

"He'll be happier to know you're alive." Jason said quietly. "For four years he's missed you, mourned your death and blamed himself for not protecting you. Knowing you're alive and well and happy will lift that burden from him."

Brenda nodded, knowing that was Jason was right. She'd always feared that Sonny would blame himself, worried about that more than she did about Jax doing the same.

Sonny was a darker, more sensitive soul than Jax when it really came down to it. Jax would have mourned her and moved on, but Sonny, Sonny would have always kept his grief with him.

She could give him that gift now and they could let each other go. They had each found love and happiness with someone else, but Brenda knew she'd never let Sonny go, not really, and was sure the same was true for him. By her going back, they could do that, for once and for ever.

"So how are we going to do this?" Jason asked Brenda after a moment.

She smiled. "Well, I think I've figured that out, but you have to help..."

* * *


	5. Chapter 4: The Big Surprise

Kaleidoscope  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Prologue.  
_  
Part Four- The Big Surprise

_Two Weeks Later_

"What do you think this is all about?" Sonny asked Carly as they got ready for the mysterious party.

Jason had returned to town a few days before, shocking everyone and, very uncharacteristically, had organised a big party. He also promised there'd be a big surprise.

"No idea." Carly told him. "Jason's not usually the big party type."

That was the understatement of the year, but then Jason had been acting really strange since his return to Port Charles.

Sonny was thrilled to have his best friend and right hand man back, but he wanted to know what was going on.

The day he had chosen to have the party was weird too--four years to the day since Brenda had died. Or rather since Jax had let her die. Though, Sonny was sure that Jason hadn't planned it, he probably didn't even remember.

But Sonny did, this day, along with the anniversary of Lilly's death, was a bad day for him. It brought out all the ghosts, all the pain that lingered despite Carly and Michael and the life they had together.

He was happy, but... Well, there was a part of him that would never stop loving Brenda and never stop grieving for her, for the beautiful, vibrant woman whose life had been lost much too soon.

"Sonny?" Carly asked quietly, coming up behind him.

"Sorry." He said, shaking his head. "Just lost in thought."

Carly nodded, though Sonny knew that she didn't really understand.

They never really talked about Brenda, Sonny wasn't even aware how much she knew. They had talked about Lilly, but Brenda... He didn't like talking about it, it still hurt to much.

"We should get going." He said finally, trying to banish thoughts of Brenda from his mind, but knowing that he'd likely fail. She'd always been pretty hard to forget.

* * *

All of Port Charles was gathered for the occasion, including Robin Scorpio, summoned back from Paris.

"Robin!" Jax said in delight, greeting her with a hug. "What are you doing back?"

"No idea." She said softly. "Jason asked me to come and I said yes."

Jax's face showed his disapproval. "Yes, I have to admit I was surprised by the invitation. I wonder what our local thug has in mind for his homecoming."

Robin shot him a look. She and Jason might have broken up, but she still cared about him and he'd come to see her in Paris, where they'd mended their differences. Still, she had to admit this whole thing was out of character.

She looked around the room, at all the people gathered, even the Quartermaines had been invited. In fact, it looked like most of Port Charles was there and all of them looked as puzzled as her and Jax as to the reason.

"I'm sure Jason has his reasons." Robin said, before excusing herself from Jax's side to go chat to Emily.

After a few minutes, Jason appeared. "I'm sure you're all very puzzled as to why I invited you here." He began, looking very uncomfortable. "I think it's time the reason is revealed."

With that, he stepped aside and a woman appeared from behind him. Robin, along with the rest of the crowd, gasped in shock when she realized it was Brenda!

* * *


	6. Chapter 5: A Miraculous Return

Kaleidoscope  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and A.N in Prologue.  
_  
Part Five: A Miraculous Reunion

Sonny couldn't believe his eyes, sure that they had to be playing tricks on him.

Four years ago he'd lost Brenda to a watery grave, how could she possibly be standing right in front of him? Yes, she certainly looked real. She also looked even more beautiful than he remembered.

"Brenda?" Ned asked, the first to find his voice.

She nodded. "Yes."

Sonny could see that she had tears in her eyes. "I'm sure you all have questions and I have answers, but... First, just let me say how much I've missed you all!"

She ran towards Ned and he gave her a big hug and pandemonium broke out as everyone rushed for their moment with Brenda. There would be time for explanations and recriminations later, but right now they just all felt overwhelming joy at the idea that she was alive.

Well, most of them did.

"I don't believe this." Carly muttered. "Typical Brenda, just strolling back from the dead as if she did nothing wrong, I just wonder how she got Jason roped up in this."

Sonny ignored his wife, though he too wondered the same thing and waited his turn to get close to Brenda. When he finally got close, he noticed a man at the back of the room watching him with deadly eyes. Not a man to be crossed.

"Brenda." Sonny whispered, taking her in his arms for a hug and then letting her go after a long moment.

"Sonny." She said softly, her eyes tender. A million things crossed between them in that moment, none of them having to be spoken. At least not then.

"I'm glad you're alive." He stated, though he knew the words were necessary.

She smiled ruefully. "So am I."

After that, Sonny had to get out of the way, so yet another person could greet Brenda and express how thankful they were that she was still alive. Sonny stood there, knowing that none of them felt the depth of emotion that he did.

For four years, he had believed a part of his heart was gone, buried at the bottom of the ocean. Now, he knew that it was lie, that she was alive and well.

She had come back to him. Well, not _him_, because there was Carly, Jax, and all the things that had always come between them standing between them now, but... It still felt like she had come back to him and for the first time in four years, Sonny felt whole.

* * *

Luis stood in the back of the room, watching as his wife was flocked with people wanting to touch her to assure themselves that she was real.

He hated this, hated being in Port Charles, hated that he had to share Brenda with the ghosts from her past. He watched as she greeted Corinthos and Jacks.

The two men's reactions confirmed everything he'd discovered about them in the last four years. Jacks had seemed relieved only for a moment and mostly seemed resentful that Brenda had only returned now, and if Alcazar read him right, was worried about how it would impact the life he had built. The reunion had been stilted, nowhere near as joyous as most.

Corinthos on the other hand, had honestly seemed relieved to know she was alive. In fact, he looked like he'd been granted a miracle and their reunion had been painful for Luis to watch.

Brenda might have worn Jacks' ring when she'd gone over that cliff, but it was Corinthos he'd always considered a threat and Corinthos he was prepared to battle now.

Brenda was his, his wife, his life and he wasn't giving her up. Not even to the only other man who might possibly love her as much as he did.

* * *

"I'm sure you're all wondering what I'm doing here." Brenda said, after all the hugs had been exchanged and everyone had had a chance to assure themselves that she was real.

The room was silent, everyone hanging on her words.

"Four years ago, when my mother's car went over the bridge, I nearly died." Brenda told them. "If it wasn't for a man named Luis Alcazar, I would have."

She motioned for her husband to join her on the podium and after a minute he did so. She noticed lots of curious looks as he took her hand. "I was near death when Luis found me." She continued. "It took several weeks for him to nurse me back to health, by the time I was coherent enough to tell Luis who I was, my funeral was over and everyone hd accepted me as dead."

There was silence and Brenda could feel the disapproval.

"There was also the uncertainty over whether I had inherited my mother's disease." She continued. "I didn't want to come back from the dead, only to burden my family and friends with my illness so when I recovered, I had myself tested. The first test was positive."

She felt her husband stiffen beside her and squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Knowing that, I couldn't go back, so I built a new life for myself. Luis was kind enough to offer to take care of me." She told them, giving him an adoring look. "In time we fell in love. Two years later, I discovered that the test was wrong and that I was perfectly healthy, but by that point it seemed too late to come back."

She looked at all the faces that had meant so much to her. "You had all moved on with your lives and I had built a new life with Luis, my husband."

She could hear a few gasps at her words.

"Then, a few weeks ago, I ran into Jason at a cafe in Rome." She said with a smile. "He convinced me that it wasn't too late, that I could come home again and so here I am. I hope you forgive me for keeping it a secret, but know that I thought of you every day that I was away."

"We thought of you too." Alan assured her, breaking the silence. "And we're so glad to see you alive. Welcome home Brenda."

His words were echoed by everyone else and Brenda started to cry. She'd been afraid of anger, repercussions, and in some ways was more prepared to handle them than acceptance and love.

She was home.

* * *


End file.
